Guy in Dubai: Going International

A classic overseas submission from an old acquaintance with a mean hook shot. The Persian Gulf serves as a gorgeous backdrop for this studious, blazer-wearing power forward. I'm told that the hotel behind is the only one on Earth with a 7-star rating. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if I gave this crouch any less of a review. 7 stars. Zeus himself would have trouble topping this form. What can be bolder than crouching on a boulder?

Crouchpix on Metromix.

Legwarmers and lady-cumberbuns are always welcome on crouchpics.com. They also help spread the crouch across the nation via Metromix.com  

Warning: Intense crouching may cause apparent shoulder dislocation.

Crouch Potato

                                   figure 1A

The great Potato famine resulted in a shortage of potatoes, but the amount of crouches increased ten-fold as exemplified by figure 1A above.

Empire Strikes Crouch

Crouching up a storm...troopers? We found these protectors of the Empire cutting loose on Saint Patrick's day. No word yet on if they were punished by Palpatine or Vader. Those two are so stiff you wouldn't even catch them crouching to duck a light sabre blow. One thing is for sure, These troopers' crouchmanship far exceeds their marksmanship with laser guns.

Crouching Through Time: 1970

Ok this guy's real. That's his name. Andrae Crouch. The fact that he was captured crouching is almost an overwhelming amount of awesome, literal layering. It's like Judge Reinhold with a Gavel and a powdered wig, or Neil Diamond, kneeling on a diamond. "Andrae Crouch and the Disciples" not only brought soul to the radio waves with gospel hits, but they utilized to the fullest their frontman's last name, bringing soul and class to the 70's-era crouch. Notice the eerily tremendous form that Andrae demonstrates. The lines and angles of his body are so perfect and sharp, it appears that he groomed his facial hair with them. He contrasts this with a softly draped, oversized dress shirt, sleeves rolled up as if to show off the very elbows supporting such perfection. He chooses the head rest or "invisible phone" technique which, in turn, draws your gaze to his suave jewelry and neatly groomed chest/face hair.  Andre the Giant will not become an Icon for another decade. But this Andrae was a giant of his own: Andrae the Giant of the Crouch.